Time for a negative post…because, let’s face it, every part of our weight loss toward health journey is not going to be puppies and rainbows. Sometimes it’s about facing really ugly shit and realigning what we want for ourselves with what we have to work with. Sometimes it’s about using your voice to stand up for yourself.

Today I grabbed a piece of cheese and was going to eat it as a snack. Someone who was watching me grab the cheese said, “Yanno, cheese is  super fattening?”

My reaction was pretty immediate and intense.

They thought they were “helping”.

What they thought they were saying to me was, “What you are about to do isn’t good for you!”

What I heard was, “Even though you’ve lost 50 pounds on your own and stay committed to your health every single day, you must have no idea that piece of cheese is “super fattening”.

Now, I’m sure when our friends and lovers and coworkers watch us go through our process or hear us talk about our process they feel like they have some sense of responsibility to us as someone who cares about us to “help” us make our goal. Maybe that’s a good thing, right?

The truth for me is that this process is incredibly insular. Incredibly private. Incredibly personal. I protect that shit with aggressive vehemence.  Because at the end of the day, I’m not asking for your fucking help.

My bigger response is, “So fucking what if that cheese is fattening, maybe I want some fucking cheese!”

Because the way I am losing weight is to eat something when I want it rather than sitting around wishing I had eaten it for a week and resenting the fuck out of not having eaten it.

I eat the cheese in moderation, then I get satisfied and I move on. ‘Nuff said.

I think it’s hard for people to fathom sometimes that I really am in control of myself. I still weigh over 280 pounds so I am still technically “superfat” and I’m fine with that. If I never lost another pound, I wouldnt sit around and rock myself while crying. I’d be irritated that my knees hurt but lose my shit over being fat? No way. That would require me to hate my body and I just don’t.

I do not like to be headpatted. Do not treat me as if I don’t know as a grown adult woman what I want.

Because I do.

I want you to fuck off if you are going to headpat me.

Preferably quickly.

Filed under: Stuff

I joined a Weight Watchers meeting here at work and had my second weigh in today. I am down to 285!

I started this journey last March at 333 so I am down almost 50 pounds. Yes, the weight loss has been super slow. It’s sometimes hard to gauge how long it’s supposed to take with shows like “The Biggest Loser” on tv where people can lose 50 pounds in a month.  The truth is that I don’t work out 8 hours a day. I don’t have a personal trainer. I don’t have a nutritionist or someone cooking meals for me.

I’m a regular person who is doing what I know how to do in a slow and steady way. It’s working. Slowly, yes, but it’s working.

My goal is to be down to 250 by May. That means I need to lose 35 pounds in the next 4 months and I think that’s doable. It equals about 8.25 pounds a month or a little over 2 pounds a week. That is exactly what Weight Watchers prescribes as the best measure for weight loss. 1 – 2 pounds a week is reasonable and doable and for me, has worked wonderfully.

Filed under: Motivation

For example, one of my favorite mid-morning snacks is 5 reduced fat Triscuits and a wedge of Laughing Cow garlic and herb cheese. It’s only 3 points on WW and is NUMMY!

You can also use the wedges as a cheesy spread on sandwiches, wraps, and even thrown into pasta to make it cheesy!

Filed under: Food Products

I’ve been dragging a foot for a while…as in, “not totally off the wagon but dangling a foot off and letting it bump the stones” for a few months now. Lack of exercise and letting bad eating habits creep back up have let me gain back 6 pounds.

I resolved on New Year’s Eve to get back on track before I completely fell off into fat land and have been searching for inspiration to help get me over the hump. One of my best sources for inspiration has been my dear friend, Candace. She has been on an amazing, visible journey for a year now and has lost like 100 pounds on her own with diet and exercise.

She just started a new blog and youtube site and I think you should go bear witness to her amazing success:

http://mynewdefinition.wordpress.com/

Check her out and be totally inspired!

Filed under: Stuff

I’ve been looking for an elliptical for a long time but always talked myself out of it at the last minute due to the cost. Well, readers, I am happy to announce that I finally got my elliptical!

It’s a Nordictrack ACT and looks like this:

A friend of mine at work had this in his garage and had stopped using it a while back. He knew I was looking for one so he offered to sell me his for only $100! Yes, folks, a Nordictrack elliptical for only ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!

WOO HOO!

I have to say, I’ve only worked out on it one time and it is NO JOKE. I was sweating within the first minute! I’ll let you all know how my workout tonight goes and if my legs have given out yet or not

Filed under: Stuff

I’ve been exercising for a few months now.

Last night, I rode my stationary bike for 25 minutes which equated to 7 miles and 210 calories burned. I’m pretty stoked at having built up to that!

When I first began this journey, I could barely walk 10 minutes on the treadmill without thinking I was dying. It really is a “ baby steps” mentality some days!

Filed under: Stuff

I’ve been riding my stationary bike a lot lately.

Did you know that you burn almost 3 times as many calories riding a stationary exercise bike than you do walking on a treadmill?

Food for thought!

Filed under: Stuff

I weighed in this morning after a 2-week plateau and discovered I’m at 293 pounds! This is GREAT because it means I am finally out of the dreaded 295 zone and only 4 pounds away from my next mini-goal.

I have found it SO important to set super small goals so that I’m not telling myself every day that I need to lose 150 pounds.

When I first started, I weighed 335. I wanted to get to 320 and then to 305 and then 299. Once I reached 299 I set my next goal at 289 and it seems like it is taking forever to get there but here I am only 4 pounds away!

This is a huge motivator and I think I’ll be hitting the stationary bike extra hard over the next few weeks to reach that goal!

Filed under: Stuff

I haven’t posted in a few days but I’m still here!

I weighed in on Sunday and I am officially at 295! That’s almost 40 pounds, baby! I have to say that I still do not feel as if I’m on a “diet”. I feel like I’m paying attention to health. I don’t feel deprived or calorie-conscious or obsessed with the numbers. I feel healthy!

Filed under: Stuff

I picked up a giant bag of frozen mixed berries at Sam’s Club and have been trying them different ways. I believe they are the house brand and are only 80 calories for a cup! This morning, I had them in a smoothie with a little vanilla yogurt and it was A-MAZ-ING!

I’ve been reading a lot about how mixed berries are great Cancer-fighters and are loaded with anti-oxidants. Well, if they taste this good, I’m all over it!

Filed under: Stuff