This is me being really dissatisfied. With myself and with my diet and with my exercise routine and with my schedule in general. I am feeling REALLY unmotivated to do much of anything except for lay in bed and cram my face with yummy things.
Of course, this is my addiction of avoiding feelings with food and being lazy. I am feeling stressed and that is the biggest trigger to my unhealthy eating habits. My work has been a tiny bit stressful but it certainly is not the biggest culprit. My personal projects are eating my lunch. I had a major server crash on one of my sites and several business meetings I need to do before the end of next week. That means a crunched schedule and a tight schedule usually means I put myself at the back of the line for taking care of.
I need to get to the grocery store and get some healthy food in the house. While I am never without food, I need some fresh produce since my garden isnt doing much and I need to spend a day grilling up some chicken. I sense a Sam’sClub run in my future for Saturday because I need grilled chicken and veggies! And I hope like hell that pluots are in season! They look like giant dinosaur eggs and are super delightful!
Please kick me in the ass. I am afraid to weigh because I feel heavy. I am afraid to work out because what if I’ve lost all the work I had done?
What if? What if?
What if I do nothing and continue ignoring the problem? Exactly. I’ll be 333 pounds again and won’t be able to walk without pain.
Time to get real.